Moving time

Things have gotten busy around here. We are trying to work on moving, but with not having any where to go in the new town, it is hard to really get into the full swing of moving. We were suppose to move the first of June, but again we have no place to go yet so we have to figure that out first unless we want to live on a bench or something. Half the house is packed and now when I need something that is packed I have to decided really hard if it is worth unpacking or not, I'm trying to get creative instead of pulling things out. We found a house we like enough to put an offer on and the counter offer came back and was not close to what we were asking, so another offer in but time is getting super close now and it may look like apartment living is in our future again. Lots and lots of stuff going on! 

I don't remember if I mentioned or not but they started Lua's DNA sequencing in the end of April and waiting for the results on that now, should take anywhere form 3 to 8 months. I am now meeting with a specialist for high risk pregnancy, and he feels like the test should be done pretty soon here so maybe he will get things rolling for us. Finding the results, what that would mean for us, is since I am currently 8 weeks along, there are some tests that can be done at 11 weeks to see if the new baby has the same condition Lua had. Also can test at 20 weeks as well. This is IF they find the reason or gene or whatever that caused Lua to be in her condition, I think there is still only a 20% chance they will find a result or something around there. So besides knowing what it was to be able to find for the new baby, I think this would help give us some closure altogether which is why I pushed for it to be done, just to know would be really nice for me. I have spent hours and hours looking and researching different diseases that may be what Lua had and I think if I could understand it, it would help a lot. But then again maybe I would still feel a sense of guilt for having what happened to her, happen to her. I think I always will feel that actually! Especially if the new baby is healthy, how fair is that to Lua that we can have 2 healthy babies but couldn't have her healthy! And truth be told, if Lua was healthy or even just here, we probably wouldn't have had any more kids. Although we did feel like we may want to have another when Lua was a little bit older so we could have that new born that we missed with Lua, but that is all in the past now. I shouldn't even get started on the guilt of having another baby while we are still missing our baby we lost! But it really wasn't planned and maybe Lua picked this soul especially for us? I guess that is what I have to tell myself to get through all this!

Sweet Pea