How to start...

A year ago today, me and my husband were preparing for our second baby. And with not being able to find out the gender of our baby, we were going through things we already had from our first daughter and looking for as many gender neutral things as possible. I can't believe that use to be my biggest problem, wow, I wish so bad that that was still my biggest problem. Instead I now have to figure out how to have a life after losing her, my precious baby girl.

So in hopes of being able to figure out what the point is in life these days, I've decided to try blogging. I had a caring bridge site for my baby, but it doesn't feel like it is still fit to put my thoughts and feelings into it, it was to update on my baby, not for anything else, although I'm sure it could be I simply don't want it to be a blog for me but to keep her story there instead. Regardless, I have been having difficulties learning how to live after losing her. For anyone who knows me and the situation, I know what you are thinking. You have your other daughter and husband and should be happy, and lucky to have them. And don't get me wrong, of course I am. But for the 7 months that I had my baby, with her medical issues, she gave me a great purpose, she kept me busy, and having her and her sister I felt complete. Now she is missing and I am not complete, I'm broken, lonely, sad. so on and so on. So lets give this a shot and see if writing these crappy feelings, thoughts, or ideas all down will maybe help some or any.
Well we will see.