11 month old baby

Today Lua would be 11 months old. The closer we get to her 1 year birthday, the harder the days seem to get. Before she passed away I had already started to plan her birthday. I already pictured us throwing a party for her and now we can have a party for her but we wont have our baby there for it.

I have started planning a celebration for her on her birthday though, and at first I wanted a big party with tons of decoration of a candy land theme since she loved the song lollipop so much! A grand balloon release, a big cake, having a photographer, and invite anyone who can come... But as the days get closer, there is no way I can bring myself to doing this type of party. I planned on still doing the balloon release until I found out that is somewhat frowned upon for the environment sake. So a work still in progress I suppose.

And today I shall spend the day away from facebook and everyone's happy little families with all the babies plastered all over facebook, to help save my heart from breaking.