disappearing act

I wish for the next few months I could disappear and not have to deal with other people or appointments or bad news... That would be so nice!
Everyone one around is making this process even more stressful. There are these insanely selfish people who do whatever they want and then are shocked that you disagree with their stupid mistakes and dont care at all that you might be going through something little more important than their screw up lives.
Or these drama queens who want to make up all this trouble about their own pregnancies, but yet the baby is totally fine?? How can there be problems and a totally fine baby at the same time. I dont get it. And I dont understand why someone would want to make up all these problems about a pregnancy, that very desperate for attention? I just wish people understood how it isn't impressive to make up drama, or flaunt their stupid decisions around to people who have dealt with real problems, real tragedies, or an actual high risk pregnancy.
I feel so depressed about everything going on, and then when may goes to school I get nothing done because I feel too gloomy. Then we get the opposite effect where people tell us, everything will be just fine, it is God's way, He knows what's best and you just have to believe and have faith that everything will be fine. I understand where people are coming from.. You think if you were in this situation you would think like this. But what people dont understand is we did think like this! Lua will get better, she will walk, she will be able to get the trach out, we believed that everything would work out. But it didn't. Some see her passing as a blessing in disguise, but now that we know what to expect, we have nothing left in us for strength. And we certainly can't watch another baby die. I wish so badly I could pull out the bad gene in us and could have protected our children. I just don't think people fully understand the pain we are enduring. I know we could have it much worse... But this is our worst for now. I just don't like seeing people make stuff up when they will go on to have happy healthy babies.
I'm really anxious about the next ultrasound.. I so dont want to go.. I dont want anymore bad news!