stomach flu

Sol has been sick with a stomach bug for a week today... Uhhh I wish so badly he would be over this now. We can't move him too much because he throws up easily right now. The poor guy gets stuck laying around a lot now because of how quickly he throws up. A week. A full week he has been throwing up and not able to be moved too much, it is hard to watch. We can't work on anything and we can hardly hold him, so very very hard. He went on a continuous feed at the hospital and we have continued doing that. At some points he acts like he is feeling so good and then just as quickly, he gets so sick. I really thought he would be doing better by now but it really hasn't happened yet. Everyone keeps saying it will just take him long because of his condition and being a baby, it is just hard to see him be sick for so long.
Sometimes I can't believe there are people out there that dont have to worry about slight colds or stomach bugs could take their childs life. I don't even remember how it was to live like that knowing the smallest thing wouldn't take my child from me. Or the fact that most parents go about their days never thinking their baby wont live to see age 5, 10, or 20... It literally blows my mind. I know we have that with may, but then again knowing what we know now and losing lua, I know we have no guarantees that any of us will make it to tomorrow, but some people live in such innocent bliss that nothing bad could ever happen to their child or themselves. I wish I had that feeling. I wish I didn't have to fear that I may have to plan another funeral for my child for the second time, and in reality I know someday I will. Dwelling on that fact can drive me crazy with anxiety and depression so I try not to think about it, but when he gets sick it is hard for me to ignore. I know he is a strong little mister, but I also know how weak he can be because of his condition so I know how fast things could turn on us. So many people at the hospital asked us how we were doing at home and I never went onto detail, we are doing so that's good enough. I'd hate to say good and tomorrow have him stop breathing, so for everyone's sake I just tell people we are doing. I want to be doing great. I want to be able to say that. I want to be able to watch sol try to crawl and babble so bad. I wish I could just inject him with all of my muscle, he wouldn't even need all of it just enough to hold his head , walk and breathe well enough. It gets so frustrating, as most of you can tell. And sick days take a toll on me. It becomes many days of being worried and lack of sleep and still trying to keep things normal for may. So much. I follow some babies who have progressive diseases so the parents are aware each day is a gift, and it really blows my mind how so few parents actually live like this. I just can't get over it sometimes. Oh well.
It was good to see the hospital crew again, we were able to get sols stroller and order a neck collar for him to help him hold his head up on his own. That could take just a few weeks to get, as long as sol has stopped throwing up by then... I dont know we will see I suppose.

most parents wouldn't get excited about a neck collar so their child could finally hold their head up on their own.....oh the joys.