Lua's Bucket list.. keeps growing

I had started a list of all the things Lua accomplished in her 7 months, it isnt finished or perfect, but it is what I could come up with for the time being... but she has added one more thing to her list that needed to be updated on.

Lua’s list

She sucked her thumb in an ultrasound
Born vaginally
Rode in a helicopter
Survived first 24 hours
Had ambulance ride
Went through surgery
Had her own Benefit party
Learned to speak with her eyes and expressions 
First baby to have water therapy at children’s hospital
Exclusively had breastmilk, from mommy, and with the help from 5 donors 
She wore every color of the rainbow of hair bows
She was in Waupaca, Neenah, Milwaukee, Antigo, white lake, green bay, Wausau, and Wisconsin dells.
Attended a 4th of July parade
Made a lot of friends!
Went on lots of walks
Spent the night at grandmas and grandpas
Had a slumber party with her sister, staying up late and listening to books being read.
Went to the fair
Went to country kitchen
Tasted blueberries, apple sauce, maple syrup, chips, and Bananas! 
Met both of her grandmas,(one from brasil) and met two great grandmas 
and stayed up late with grandpa one night while in the hospital. 
Napped on her tummy
Danced with mommy every night
Went to the gym 2x a week (therapies) 
Went to mays birthday party, maggies birthday party, lily’s birthday party, and great grandma watsons surprise birthday party!
Went to Messer family reunion. Even won the youngest baby contest
Saw a tractor pull
Got her first bikini swim suit 
Went to the mall
Went to church
Wore matching sister dresses
Played patty cake
Fell asleep on her sister
Spent the night at the Ronald McDonald house.
Got a special tour of the Ronald house from mommy. 
Sang lollipop
Watched frozen
Watched a packer game
Loved reading Peter rabbit
Went to famous daves
Went to Paul Bunyans
Visited an outlet mall in wisconsin dells
Went to Kalahari theme park
Went to Kalahari water park
Went swimming in the water park.... and hated it.
Stayed in a hotel over night
Got a little lost with mommy trying to find our room at Kalahari
Shopped at Gordmans 
Went to Bay Beach amusement park 
Watched lots of tv with daddy and May 
Played Barbie with May
Went to City Park and played with the leaves! 
Got strong enough to tolerate being sat upright 
Got her nails done 
Took a nap while shopping at walmart 
Went grocery shopping
Enjoyed many relaxing massages 
Went to the pumpkin patch
Got a picture taken with a pumpkin!
Got her own pumpkin! 
Became an angel

And going to become a big sister! 

AHHH! VENT!

Oh today has been such a NOT SO good day!!!!!!
I am wanting to punch everyone I see in the face! Especially our neighbor who thinks he knows how to take care of our dog, he thinks it is okay to untie him, he hasnt but he has suggested many times that he would just tie our dog up when HIS dogs are done playing, he gives our dog food with out asking, comes by our garage and stairs because mallo was "tangled"  AND Today, told me to leave our dog out side so he can play with his friends even though Mallo JUST got neutered and cant be very active for awhile!!! So he was offended because I brought him in when he brought his dogs into our yard like always... UGHH Drives me insane, take care of your own dogs and let us take care of ours! What is wrong with people???

Also today, my booth that I sell shirts at in one of our local thrift stores, people totally trashed my booth!!! Come on!!!! What... I... I don't understand what people are thinking when they rip shirts off the hangers, throw them wherever they want unfold crap, One time I went in there and a PILE of shirts were laying on the floor, someone must have knocked it over and just laid it down, why wouldnt you pick it up?!! Be Responsible, is that so hard these days??? I 100% dont get it. Then while fixing my tshirt booth my New crocs, the bottom ripped off.. UUUUGGGGHHHHHH seriously!! AHh i could find a corner and just BALL. 
I am overly stressed with our new decision to move to a different town, I'm exhausted when I am able to do 25% of work and right now it just feels like tooooo much!!!
Plus, all the support groups I am in for losing a child and what not, they all are not working for me! I can't seem to relate to many people and whenever Anyone posts a question on a support group, everyone finds the need to give their opinion even if it has nothing to do with the main post.

Example...
Does any one own a trail blazer? What are the pros and cons...
Answers people will give...
I own a dodge, it is great!
I have always only ever driven anything that has been a ford and if you dont like ford then you are stupid! (ok well not exactly this but you get the idea)
A caravan is really the only way to go..

These are great but you know what?? IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL QUESTION
I Don't care if you love fords, if you think a truck is better, or if your caravan is best for you, that has nothing to do with what I asked! Seriously do people just love seeing things that they write so much that no matter the topic they have to throw in their two cents?! It is lame, annoying, and aggravating so STOP DOING IT!
I didn't actually ask that question and those were not the responses that was totally a made up thing but I see this stuff all the time and I really wish people would stop. I am sorry but You are not the center of every ones world and you take away from the people who actually have experience with whatever someone is asking, stop being rude people!!!!Think about it, if you were in a group in real life and someone asked a question you knew nothing about, would you throw in a stupid random thing that has nothing to do with what people are talking about? My thought is most normal people Would Not do this, but you get behind a screen and people for get how to socialize. 
I guess I am just somewhere between throwing a brick at someone's face, or having a toddler temper tantrum, which my toddler is having TONS OF, in a corner some where. I don't like becoming this person and I feel like I have tried my hardest to not be that person online, but sometimes you just break down and that is where I am at! I will have to settle with having some ice cream and seeing if that helps. The last thing I want to do!!! But gotta start somewhere ;)

good, bad, ugly

Well, I dont think I am looking forward to mothers day, I felt before that it probably wouldn't be a big deal since I still have one of my babies with me to celebrate, but last year was such a great day with Lua giving us tons of smiles and her all dressed up so pretty! Ah that little girl, I sure do miss her.
So many things have come up this week, good, bad and ugly, and tomorrow will be a rough day for sure. I got to go through the excitement of learning of a new pregnancy in the family! What a great way to help the family heal! And a blessing! But then last night it all ended with a miscarriage :( I really thought this family couldn't lose another baby but I guess that isn't true at all. So tomorrow will mostly be sad for the loss. There is a sense of beauty in losses I know, but it is hard to look past the pain first.
I am wishing all mothers a very happy mothers day and especially to those moms who have had to say good bye to their babies.


Mothers day last year

My gift from my husband, this picture framed!

All dressed up :) 

Late night cuddles with mom 

And the best gift of all!!!! Her first smile captured in a picture!!!!

24 day challenge

A few posts ago I talked about how I was trying to focus on strengthening myself and whatever that meant to me, and what not. A handful of months ago I started having higher blood pressure issues, I mean I totally get it, I feel like I am on pins and needles all the time, anxiety through the roof! So I have been trying hard to figure out how to lower this sucker. I've been doing yoga often, took salt out of my diet, trying to stay away from processed foods, and so on. I really wasn't seeing the blood pressure get better. Friends of ours had gotten into the advocare stuff and when I was pregnant with Lua we went to their first get together information night, and I always kept that in the back of my mind and wondered if it would really help or if it really works and what not. Well 24 days ago I decided I would give it a shot because my blood pressure wasn't really improving and I felt like this may be the kick that I needed to get into gear maybe?? It started well, but I had a lot of setbacks! Like one, a husband! and second a vacation to Florida! So I know I didn't do my best, but in the first few days I could tell I for sure had more energy, which was something I was lacking in my depressive state, especially in the mornings. But for weight loss and measurements, I really wasn't seeing anything, I did notice my blood pressure got slightly better! Which is great! I was feeling a little defeated though with the rest of the results not kicking in and at that point I decided to keep my sugar intake under 30grams a day, Yeah we watched fed up and it seriously got to me! After the first few days of actually tracking how much sugar was in our foods, I seriously dropped my craving for sweets all the time! I enjoy my banana pancakes, but that right there if I add peanut butter is 3grams, maple syrup (which I stopped using after the sugar deletion) is like 6 grams, and there are actually 12 grams of sugar in the meal replacement packs advocare gives if you do that for lunch, and that right there is almost the recommended amount of sugar women should have! Anyway seeing the numbers helped me to be able to skip out on the extra treats! Instead, make sweet smoothies and snack on those :) . Well anyway, tomorrow my 24 days are up, so today I decided to see how I did although I kinda assumed it wasn't going to be great, I mean we did just get back from Florida and although I tried my best it wasn't the perfect way of eating. The results are, I lost close to 5lbs and an inch all over, I'm pretty shocked!! I thought I would tank this, but that is a good start! But the best is the fact that I can think a little more before diving right into crappy food because my mood is bad. Just because I feel like crap, running to something that will make me feel better for 5 seconds, will only make me feel even worse 5 hours later :( I also gained something more from advocare which will have to be talked about at a different time. But for those of you who are wondering, I believe it is a good program, it has loads of vitamins and helps you look at the food you are eating. I highly recommend it, and I also recommend the cutting out the added sugars too! I haven't seen what my blood pressure is lately but I will have to check on that soon.
Thanks for the jump start advocare!

vacation

We have been all over the place with trying to figure out what the next step should be that my husband decides to just go ahead and take a week off and take our three year old to Disney world. So that is what we did last week, Monday we headed to Florida and got back yesterday. May had a pretty good time. She was amazes by the princesses, that we waited an hour to see!!!!, when she saw Elsa, the first princess we saw, she just broke out in tears sobbing! But the cast is very good at what they do because Elsa knew just how to handle the situation and we ended up getting some great pics, and she showed may how to use ice powers ;) I'm glad she had a such a good time, it was pretty stressful for us adults at times but we made it! By the way I would not recommend making a spontaneous trip to Disney, although it was fun, we missed out on a lot because we weren't prepared, but it is ok, we figured we would, but it is a lot of work trying to figure everything out in a week. I read a recommendation to bring rain ponchos and I was like, pshhhh we dont need them.. Yes yes you do. We ended up spending $10 for one for all of us! When you can get them for like a dollar at dollar tree... Ugh. Oh well. Live and learn I suppose.
so now we are back and still needing to decide what we will do next.