Loneliness

So the NICU series will take a little while to get to, there is so much information that goes into it and everything.
I already can't believe that our due date for baby #3 is in 6 months. It doesn't sound like much when you say 3 months pregnant, but 6 months can really go by fast! So we will see...

Speaking of months, it has been 9 months since Lua has passed away. Funny how I just said 6 months can really fly by, but the last 9 months have really seemed to take forever. The first month after she passed felt like it was an entire year! Lately it seems to be a little more lonely too, which can help slow down the days. It was amazing to have so much support and people comforting you right after a horrific tragedy happens like this, but eventually everyone has to move on and things come up in their own life and supporters have to go back to real world life. Not like I am saying there is no one there for us anymore, but honestly, things die down for people not living in the shoes of someone who is going through this. I can feel a little annoyance of too many pictures posted on facebook, less people will check in with you, and some kind of forget. Also being pregnant people are more interested in the good news, and want to stay away from the bad news. It isn't anyone's fault, and I know when I run into someone who is struggling with something in their life, I never know what to say either. I understand it, where everyone is coming from. I just never knew how hard it was to live this life, and it really does get lonely. Not in the original sense of loneliness, but I think more in the sense of, there is no one else here living it with you.
Wow I wish any of this made sense. It is a good thing not many people read this, other wise I would probably be really embarrassed Ha!
I guess my point of this is, there is a point that you get to, especially after a loss, that people move on a whole lot quicker than you do. Everyone probably knows this, and I think I knew it too, but I didn't expect it to feel like this??
I remember reading the story about Avery and her bucket list, the little baby who was found to have SMA after she was born. I read every blog, I was cheering her on, my first daughter was about 6 months older than her, and I related to it so insanely much! I cried when I heard she passed away, I felt for those parents so much! But as the days go on, I get over it more and more. Now I think about those parents, how hard it had to have been for them, and how they are probably still trying to move past their loss. I had no idea that in a very short 3 years, I would be living their nightmare! The nightmare I was so thankful to not have had to go through with my first baby.
I sorta wish there was more that you could do for parents that go through this, that there was more you could say to them, or offer them. I still don't even know what would make me feel better except to be able to freely talk about my child and have an actual conversation about her and not just me talking about her and people shaking their heads and saying nothing. Oh well, we either have to move on or we are going no where.
In good news, we may be into our new house next weekend. That would be great! So lets hope for that!